Spring Race Report 2014

It has been a busy year for racing already.   I have participated in several triathlons and a 10k race this winter and thought I would do a brief overview of each.   None of these were done to "race" and I had different reasons for doing each of them.   All of them have been a ton of fun and I have used them as training and not as actual racing. 

Delaware YMCA Tri

I signed up for this race because it was a fundraiser for some of my friend's kid's swim team.   It was a short indoor triathlon that consisted of 15 min pool swim, 15 min ride on a spinning bike and 15 min running around a track.    So each of these you just did what you could do in the time allotted.    The swim was nice, I had a lane to myself and at least for my heat, I think I had the fastest time.   I was just happy to beat my friend Kristen in this part of the race because I knew she was going to kick my ass during the rest of it.   And I was correct as she blew me away on the bike and the run.    The bike was done on a spinning bike,  I had a hard time with this as I couldn't seem to get the bike set up correctly for myself and I was uncomfortable the entire time I was on it.   I think I managed to average a 19mph pace but not sure how accurate it was as they were very basic spinning bikes. I thought this was pretty good until Kristen told me she averaged over 25 mph!      The run was done around a short little track (I believe 16 times around or something insane like that was a mile).   I made a game out of this as I knew Kristen could run circles around me.   So I challenged her to try to lap me 5 times.   She did this pretty easily,  so each time she passed me, I would tell her 7 times or 8 times to get her going.   I don't remember the final amount of times she passed me, but it was definitely a lot...she did awesome.   I was just happy to be running as I hadn't been back running too much since my injury last fall,  so really I had no goal other than to run without my ankle hurting...which I achieved.     All in all this was a fun little race and if they do it again next year, I will likely be there!

Kristen is the one in dark pink shirt and white hat out front,  I am behind her in blue, this was at the start of the run! 

 Instead of medals, we got finishers certificates!   Kristen almost placed first in the race, but actually got beat by an 11 year old girl!    I was not even in the top 10 finishers, but still a fun race!

Lifetime Indoor Triathlon

I originally wasn't going to sign up for this race as I am really trying to save money this year and keep a tight race schedule and at this point I had already figured out which races I wanted to do.   But, my friend Jessica begged me to sign up the day before as she had found out she was going to be the only girl in her wave and was freaking out about it.   So I caved and signed up for the race,  completely unprepared.   But once again, it ended up being a blast and I am glad Jessica talked me into it.    The Lifetime Tri has two different distances you can choose from:   1)  10 min pool swim, 30 min bike,  20 min run  or 2) 20 min pool swim, 60 min bike, 40 min run.    Of course Jessica had picked the longer of the two distances.   We shared lanes for the pool swim and Jessica and I shared a lane which was fun.   My goal was to swim 1,000m in 20 min.  I hadn't yet done this (most of my swims in the past were 30 sec to 90 sec slower than this) so thought I would challenge myself a little more here.   And I was able to do it with 15 sec to spare!   So very happy about the swim.    The bike was on a high tech spinning bike...so the resistance and cadence both changed the speed, which was nice and it measured watts as well.   I have no memory of how fast I was going.   They had the bikes out in the main area of the gym and I was too busy people watching and chatting with friends to notice my bike times.   And, my butt got really uncomfortable on this bike and I was out of the saddle quite a bit by the end.    The run was done on a treadmill and I did pretty well with it, fortunately I ended up next to Jessica for this one too and we chatted most of the time.   I did negative splits on the treadmill so last part of the run I wasn't chatting, but overall felt good.    I really didn't put alot of racing effort into this race (except the swim) and used it again for training and ended up having a blast!    I think if someone is new to triathlon and wants to get their feet wet prior to doing an outdoor event, this is definitely a good one and I would suggest it to others.  

Jessica and I on the treadmills! 

My friend Kim signed up to volunteer!  

Agoura Hills 10k

I had a score to settle with this race.   It is out in Santa Monica, CA and I had signed up for the same race 2 years ago, but ended up not being able to do it secondary to a stress fracture that year.   My sister lives in LA and does this race each year and has had a blast with it.   I wanted to do a race with my sister and it just so happened this race was happening the weekend we had picked for me to visit her this year.     I loved this race and would definitely do it again!   In fact, there is a half marathon that is also offered and I would consider that in the future as well.   The race is part of an entire race series offered...there are 2 different half marathons, a 10k, a 5k, and a fun kids run.   They all end in the same place and there is a mini-festival at the end.    This race is no joke though...it is a beautiful but very hilly area!     I originally was going to try to run with my sister and her friend Jane but Lora hadn't really been able to train much and Jane had just done a marathon the week before, so they were going to walk at least part of it.   I was itching to get out there and run, so they told me to go ahead without them.    My goal was to try and do the race in 1:05...I knew I was not in top racing form and it was really hilly, so I had a conservative time in mind.   The course starts out on a downhill, which was nice as it gives your legs a little time to warm up prior to going up hill.   There were relatively few flat areas on this course, you were either going up or down and there were some pretty steep hills.   I did end up having to walk one of the last ones,   it was easily a 12-14% grade and my asthma kicked in half way up the hill.   It took me a few minutes to calm it back down, but was able to pick up the pace after that.   My finishing time was 1:04:14...so met my goal!    I also ran back out onto the course and found Lora and Jane and was able to finish with them as well (although I took off my timing chip so I wouldn't mess that part up).   Loved being able to do that as well!  

Jane, Lora, and I at the finish. 

Finisher selfie!    

Miami University Triathlon

I signed up for this race because my cousin goes to school at Miami U and I thought it would be fun to go down to visit him and do a race while I was there.   My Aunt Debbie signed up as well, so I was looking forward to a fun weekend get away with family.    This race is a pool swim (400m) , then outdoor ride (13 miles) and run (5k).   I had never done a race like this and it had me a little nervous.   The pool swim is in 50 m pool and serpentine style, which means you start at one end and then swim up and down the lanes until you get to the other side of the pool for a total of 400m swim.   Also, it was going to be in the mid 40's at the start of the race so we had to figure out what to wear in the water that would also be worn on the bike, as there isn't anywhere to stop and change clothing in between.    I was a little freaked out trying to figure this out because after my Lake Tahoe experience, I didn't ever want to be too cold on the bike again!   

We went down the night before to have dinner with my cousin Ben.   That was pretty fun and Oxford is a pretty cool little college town.   Debbie and I stayed out at Hueston Woods Lodge though as all the hotels in town had already sold out for a variety of reasons.   Unfortunately as we headed out to the lodge we came up on flashing lights and stopped traffic.   After sitting there several minutes, I got out to see what was going on and found that a tree had fallen down across the road and a car was trapped underneath the tree.   There were already emergency equipment and cop cars out there trying to help the person out, but after assessing the situation we realized quickly that we wouldn't be getting through this point on the road anytime soon.    Getting to Hueston Woods from Oxford is pretty easy, but there really is only one route,  so we turned around and were able to eventually able to find another route, but it took extra time that we weren't expecting.   So, we got to sleep much later than expected that night.     

Race morning came way too early, but fortunately the road had cleared and we got back into town pretty early for the race.   My stomach was a mess though.   I am not sure if it was from eating poorly the night before, nerves, or lack of sleep, but my gut wasn't feeling great.   I was in the bathroom with dry heaves and GI issues 10 minutes prior to the start of the race.  Somehow I managed to get out of the bathroom and into the pool on time, but I was flustered and my stomach was still really nauseated.    Not my best swim, but I was able to complete it without any unfortunate GI accidents.   And, I loved swimming in a 50 meter pool, just wished I had been able to enjoy it more!  

It was cold running to T1 but I was able to dress quickly enough and was surprised that even with all the layers I put on that I was able to do it in under 5 minutes.   I was cold for the first 10 min of the bike, but warmed up quickly after that.   Bike was hillier than I was expecting and windier.    The nausea went away finally during the bike, but I felt slow and the legs heavy this ride.   I wasn't surprised with my slow bike split after I saw the results, but was disappointed as I felt I had worked harder on my cycling skills over the winter, but it sure didn't show up on this ride.    But, I had dressed warmly enough and ended up stripping off multiple layers prior to the run. 

The run was decent and went through campus, which I thought was quite pretty.   Normally the run is the hardest part for me and the most difficult.   But in this race it was where I felt the best and I did what I could while keeping my breathing in check.   And despite how crappy I felt this race, I was able to run a 29:38 5k, which isn't my fastest, but is pretty good for me, especially given how I felt earlier in the race.   

All in all, I liked the course and the thought this race was very well run.   It wasn't my day, unfortunately but I still enjoyed being able to spend time with my family and experiencing a new type of triathlon race course.    I thought the medal we got was pretty cool too!

My Aunt Debbie and I with our finishers medals!   We did it! 

So what is up next for me?  

1)  New York Gran Fondo   May 18th

2) Subway "Fresh Fit" Triathlon (formerly Wendy's) June 8

3) Mohican 70.3 June 22

4) Ironman Mont Tremblant August 17

The Tie that Binds

Is anyone else as stressed as I am these days?    Stress seems to come at me from all directions...work, family, training, friends, etc.   Some is good stress and some is not so good.    I was reminded during a run the other week how stress and how we handle it can affect workouts  and how our workouts can affect stress.   It is easy to forget how interchangeable they are to each other.   

 
Stress can affect all areas of our well being.    For me, exercise is one of the key things I do to help with stress relief, and most of the time a really good workout can help me to fell better, especially if I am more stressed.     However, there are times when I think the training I do and expectations I hold for myself while training can cause me even more stress.    And I think sometimes my "bad workout days"  are more likely a product of stress rather than me actually failing at the workout.  

 A few weeks ago I did a run out at Glacier Park.   I was really excited as the temps were at 30 degrees when I left work.    Sadly this was the warmest it had been in what had felt like months, and I was just happy that I wouldn't have to wear mulitple layers just to get out and run.    I also decided I needed a change in scenery which is how I ended out at Glacier.    Well, I didn't take one thing into consideration when dressing for this run...the wind.      I was already  grumpy that day as work had been very stressful for awhile, so I was also looking forward to the run to help relieve some stress.    Well, I realized pretty quickly into the run that I had underestimated the wind and under-dressed (after the run I looked at weather again and noticed real feel was 8 degrees).    The first half of that run was miserable.   I had a headwind, which was slowing me down, I was cold,  I also started to feel nauseated.   I was trying to be true to HR and it was reading higher than normal, which was causing me to slow down even more.    Needless to say, by the time I reached my turn around point, I was extremely frustrated by my speed, how shitty I was physically feeling on the run,  and how cold I was, how my body was failing me,  how I just wanted to have a good run,  the list went on and on.      Fortunately, with the turn around, the wind changed which helped improve my speed almost immediately.    I also started to feel warmer and the numbness in my arms started to go away from being so cold.    After about half mile I looked at my Garmin and noticed the HR wasn't tracking accurately.    So, I started fiddling with it to see if I could get it to work better.    And the HR kept getting lower (to 98) and I knew this wasn't right.   The HR monitor also started to get extremely uncomfortable and I could feel it chaffing me.    And I fiddled with it more.   It still wouldn't work and it felt like it was even more uncomfortable.  

And all the sudden I was pissed.    Pissed at my garmin for failing on me when I was trying so hard to do the right thing by staying in zone 2.   Pissed because it was chaffing me and causing discomfort.   Pissed because I was still cold and just mad that this winter has been so awful.    And all of the sudden I couldn't stand the HR monitor around me, constricting me,  making me even more angry.    And I wanted it off.    And so, during my run, I ripped it off, while running.    As soon as it was off I felt a HUGE relief.  It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.   And I took a huge breath, looked down at my watch, and immediately started laughing.    Even though I was holding the darn thing in my hand,   my Garmin was still reading 98 as my HR.     And then I realized something else, my running suddenly was feeling effortless,  and my last mile was the fastest (easy) mile I had done in years.    My body felt like it was gliding along and I could just feel all the tension melting away.    And the last 2 miles of that run were wonderful.   It confirmed my love for running and how it makes me feel good.    All was right in my world despite the horrible start to that run.  

And I realized something else.    I think the way I was handling my stress the past weeks prior to this run was not good.   I was internalizing everything, whether I could control it or not.   And it was affecting me.   Sleepless nights, poor eating, poor attitude, etc.    I think it definitely affected my run as well.    That internalizing had turned me into a real grump and my body was feeling this and instead of my run initially helping me, it was making my run even worse.   A good friend once told me that there are many things you can't control, but, you can control how you react  and your attitude towards the things you can and can't control.   I really think that when I ripped that HR monitor off my body, it really was symbolic to me of the things that can bind you and bring you down.    Once I was able to get rid of that tie, I felt infinitely better.     And I have been feeling better both physically and mentally since that run.   I will admit though, that I am still not speaking to my HR monitor and it is still laying on my counter top where I left it after that run.    So, my last few weeks have been done "stress free"  as I have not been wearing my HR monitor and have really been going by feel.   I am trying to do this more in life as well, and have to admit I have been feeling much happier!  

Speed

I am not fast.   Many people think that because I am an Ironman, that I am fast.  My fastest marathon was a 4:47 and change,   my fastest half 2:05:55, fastest 5k just a little over 27 minutes,  fastest IM 14:11:something.     I will probably never run the Boston Marathon or  qualify for the Kona Ironman unless I am still running in my 70's or I somehow qualify as a special interest story.   My "intervals" on the treadmill right now are slower than at least half of what my friends run at for an "ez" pace.       I don't know how many times I have. asked people to run/ride/swim with me, only to be told "you are an Ironman, there is no way I could keep up with you!"  

 My lack of speed  is something I have struggled with for a long time.    I was fast at one time in my life.    I think I was 6 or 7 years old.   I could outrun most of the boys in my class and all but one girl.    But that was only across the parking lot at recess.  Short sprints and I was a short, spry, little girl at that time.     As I got older and I grew taller, I seemed to become more awkward and I lost that speed.    By highschool I was mediocre at best, it seemed the taller I got, the slower I also got.     I struggled to keep up with almost all the girls during soccer practice, especially when we did the longer runs and conditioning.    The only person that was slower than me was the goalie and she outweighed me by a good 50-60 lbs and made it very obvious to everyone that she chose to be the goalie so she wouldn't have to run as much.

  Mostly it was my breathing that kept me from going faster,  I would get to the point that I would have to slow down because I just couldn't breath, and the only way to get over this was to go slower.   My coaches friends, etc  said I was out of shape and I just needed to try harder, train more, and I would get faster.    I, in turn got more frustrated with my lack of speed, despite training, and trying as hard as I could, and eventually I stopped playing soccer my senior year.    I was so disappointed with my performance the first week of conditioning that I quit and decided there were other things I could do instead.    I did go back to playing soccer but only intramurals while in college and then after college.     But that lack of speed still plagued me.    In my mid 20's more of my friends started running and training for 5k's, 10k's and even half marathons.    They would ask me to join and for awhile I refused.   In my mind I was slow, running was hard and I didn't want to do races just to remind me of this.  I could do short sprints across the soccer field, but not much beyond that.      I ran on my own to keep fit for the soccer leagues I was playing in, but I was very frustrated that I couldn't seem to get past the 2 mile mark without feeling like I was going to die.    So to do a 5K?   Nope, impossible, I couldn't do it.

  I did finally relent and did the Komen 5k with a group of friends and I had to walk at least half of it.    I tried to keep up with them for a bit, and as typical I faded and eventually had to stop and walk.    Eventually one of my friends asked if I had ever checked my heart rate when running.   Why would I do that?    I remember thinking.    And the concept of pace was born...up to that point I really had no concept of pace.   Whenever I ran, it really was all out and I would quite literally run until I really couldn't anymore.    When I finally checked my HR on one of those 2 mile runs, I was at my max heart rate most of the run.  D'oh!    And wouldn't you know it, when I slowed down and kept my heart rate lower I was able to run longer and it felt easier.    So when the boy I mentioned in a prior blog asked me to try another 5k, I decided this time I could.  My goal was to finish it without having to walk.    And I did it.     But it was still frustrating because I was so much slower than all of my friends at that time.     Fortunately though, I kept at it, tried new things and kept pushing forward.   I set goals for myself...for awhile it was just to beat 35 min for a 5k  then 30min, etc.  Little by little I was getting a smidge faster.   And this helped me to  build enough confidence to try out longer distances and other events.    

The first half marathon I did was bittersweet.   I did it is part of a Relay for the Columbus Marathon.    My friend and I signed up for it together,  I for the first half, she for the second.     She was an experienced runner but we lived in different parts of the city, so we didn't train together.    Instead I trained with my roommate at the time and another of our friends who also signed up for the Relay.    I could start out with them and hang for a mile or 2 but after that I would have to slow down.    It got very lonely for me pretty quickly and I didn't look forward to those runs.   But, knowing my friends would be waiting for me at the end of the run, kept me moving forward and helped me to continue the training each week.     A few weeks prior to the race, my friend got sick and ended up having to have surgery on one of her kidneys.    We both worried that we would have to drop from the race...her medically, me because she couldn't do it.   Fortunately the race directors let us pick a substitute and my friend's Dad was also a runner, so he came down and did the race with me in her place.     Up to this point that race was the hardest thing I had ever done and I gave it my all.    But it was somewhat disappointing because instead of crossing an actual finish-line and rejoicing in my training and all my efforts,  I ended in a chute where the relay team handed off the timing chip.     I walked over to the finish area and waited for my teammate to arrive.    And I was very jealous that I wasn't the one crossing that line.   But it was still a defining moment for me because I realized that no matter how many doubts I had about things, I could still do something if I put my mind to it.    And I knew I would do another because I wanted to be able to see what it would feel like to cross that finish line!

The next spring I did another half marathon and did get to experience that wonderful feeling of finally crossing that finish-line.    I continued to do more races and train for my first marathon.    But I struggled with getting faster and trying to "PR" my half marathon time.    My first was still my fastest.      Several half marathons in I  had another defining moment.   I really wanted a PR this race and so I had tried to pick up the pace again.   By mile 8 I was walking because I was wheezing.   Frustrated, I started crying because I knew this wasn't going to be my PR race.   The rest  of the run was a combo of run/walking.   I tried to pick up the pace again the last half mile.    I was so short of breath by the time I finished that I actually thought about stopping at the med tent to ask if they had any oxygen.   A fellow runner was chatting with me on the way out of the corrals and I couldn't do anything but nod because I was still very short of breath.   It took me quite awhile to calm down my breathing and I was also having difficulty holding onto stuff and I kept dropping things.    Fortunately I had come with my boyfriend at the time and he drove me home.   I kept telling him I was fine, but I knew deep down that it wasn't.    Shortly after this I went to the physician and unloaded about the race, my struggles with racing, speed, etc.    She finally suggested I get tested for asthma.    Asthma?   This had never crossed my mind.  Asthma is something that lands you in the hospital, can cause you to die.   I had several cousins with asthma and they had to do breathing treatments, etc and couldn't exercise because of the asthma.    But my physician suggested that it could be exercise induced and not full blown asthma and pushed me to get tested.    So I went to a physician that specializes in Allergies and Asthma and got tested.   He expected me to pass that regular testing and explained that when I did, they would send me on to do the additional testing to diagnose exercise induced asthma.     Only I didn't pass the regular test,  I was only functioning at about 80% and he had me do an albuterol treatment and retest.   Diagnosis:  Asthma.  I was stunned.   I went home with a script for two inhalers, a maintenance inhaler that was a steroid that I would do 2 puffs/2 x a day and a rescue inhaler, which my physician suggested I do prior to every aerobic workout.      And a weird thing happened,   my workouts started to feel a little easier, and I finally was able to do more without feeling so winded.   

Through the years, I have obviously been able to conquer alot more than just a half marathon.    I have now completed 4 IMs,   4 half IMs, 2 marathons,  >25 half marathons and countless other races.     I have also been able to successfully improve my asthma scores to the 99% range and am now down to 1 puff 2 x/day on my maintenance inhaler and I no longer need to do my rescue inhaler before every work out.    I only use it now prior to a really intense workout or if I actually need it during a workout.     My asthma doc has told me I am his favorite patient as  I am one of the few success stories.  He said what most don't realize is that by continuing to exercise, the asthma can actually get better, I am living proof of that.   But, he said, most of his patient's use it as an excuse not to workout instead.    I am hoping that one day he can use me to inspire more of his patient's but for now I am just happy that my lungs are improving and each time I go back we continue to monitor and change my medicines.    I am by no means cured,  and I hope that one day I can get off the meds entirely, but for now I will do what I can do.   

Through the years I have also done additional testing for V02 max and HR zones.    These tests have been very helpful in preparing me for the longer distance events.    I am still slow, but I realized that I can go on for a long time.   And I realized I am doing what is safe and what is right for my body.  I still struggle with that, but I have to accept that I can only do what my body is capable of doing and these tests have helped to guide me to a much safer approach with my training.   I am more accepting now of my body's speed limitations because I have been able to succeed in so many more events and races.    

   I am what I consider myself to be a middle or back of the packer.   But I also see it as an opportunity to get my money's worth.   We pay alot for these races...this way I get to spend ample time out on the course enjoying what I pay for these days!    I also love it because it allows me to meet other runners.   The newbies, especially hold a special spot in my heart.    And I love that I can help them,  motivate them, give advice, inspire.    I think because I am slower, it gives others hope that they can do amazing things too.   When I think about my heroes in the endurance world, it is not the leaders of the events but rather the common folk that inspire me.    Sure, Chrissie Wellington, Crowie,  Ryan Hall, Kara Goucher, etc are all amazing to watch.   But they don't inspire me.    To me they are gifted athletes that were born with a certain amount of talent, something I will never have.  I can't even begin to comprehend what their world is like and although they are amazing athletes, they have never inspired me to do more.     The ones that inspire me are the ones that have overcome huge obstacles to complete races:  Jon Blais,  Rudy Garcia Tolsen,  Sarah Reinersten, Team Holt to name a few.    Their stories are the ones that I love, that inspire, that bring me to tears, and make me want to do more myself.     Each have overcome obstacles in their lives and accomplished amazing things.    To me, these are the ones that inspire  me to reach out of my comfort zone and try things that I never thought were possible.     This past year especially, I have finally started to be at peace with my "slowness."     For most of my life my biggest dream has been to inspire people.     It wasn't until more recently that I realized that I don't need to be fast to inspire people( which is what I have always thought).    In fact, quite the opposite, by being "slow"  I think I have the means to inspire more people.     I hope that by telling my story, my struggles, my successes, and my failures, that I can help more people to dream bigger, reach further, and be at peace with their "speed demons."  

    

Roar

WHAT MOTIVATES YOU??

Such a simple phrase but one I feel like I have asked and been asked a thousand times.   What motivates you to sign up for an Ironman?   More important what motivates you to keep going back to more Ironman events?    How do you stay motivated to train when it is a frozen tundra outside and sunny skies and warm weather are a distant memory?    How do you motivate yourself for a 5 hour sufferfest on this thing they call a  bike trainer?   How do you motivate yourself to keep going on a really tough climb?    How did you stay motivated enough to finish the world's toughest Ironman event at Ironman Lake Tahoe?   How do you motivate yourself for a 3 hour long run, by yourself, in 90 degree weather?    How do you motivate yourself to get off the couch and go to the pool on a 5 degree weather day?     How do you motivate yourself to put on this skintight, non flattering piece of clothing they call a trisuit?     The list is endless and could be adapted to any situation.    Mental Toughness in my opinion, is an often overlooked aspect of training and is one of the most important things behind motivation.      

Everyone is motivated by different things.   It is what drives us day in and day out.   At work.  At home.   At play.    But especially in the world of healthy living and exercise.   There are lots of reasons that people exercise...to stay fit, to lose weight, to gain a better body,  to fight depression, to be able to go to Northstar after a long run and not have to justify it,  to not  feel so guilty about the bottle of wine  that you consume each week, to race, to compete,  for a mental break,  to get outdoors,   to keep moving, to stay happy.     And often times it is a combination of many of these things.    Getting motivated to sign up for an Ironman was actually the easy part.   Just like signing up for a new exercise class, starting out fresh with new resolutions each year,  signing up for a 5k,  these things, although scary at first, are actually easier.   Initially, as with most new things, there is excitement, maybe a little fear, but it is normally a good thing.    You tell your friends, your spouse, your parents, your kids.    And although there maybe some doubt, most will support you and help you to start whatever this new event in your healthier lifestyle is.   The hard part is sticking with it.    When the excitement wears off.    When the weather sucks.   When the bike course becomes really challenging.   When you start to get tired.   When doubt or boredom kicks in.    That is when mental toughness comes into play.    That is when you really need to figure out how to motivate yourself.    

 A few years ago, I was on an 85 mile  bike tour out in the Granville/Utica area with a group of friends.    The majority of the group was much faster than me and I knew going into that ride that I wouldn't be able to keep up with the group.   I also knew it was going to be a long day in the saddle as it was a hilly ride and I am even slower on my bike with hills than I am on flat ground.  And as I expected the majority of the group got away from me, and although they waited for me at alot of the stops,  I rode the better part of the ride alone.  But, I knew I had to pace myself so I wouldn't blow up midway into the ride when the hills would be at their worst.   A little over half way into the ride we got to the most challenging part of the course.   It was a very steep section of hills that seemed to go on forever.   As I got near what I thought was the end of a hill and what I thought was the end of any leg power I had left,  I turned and realized the hill was still going on a bit longer.    I had misjudged it.    But, I was determined that day, I wasn't going to stop on any hills.   I dug deep and I kept going.    And I passed one of my friends who had pulled off the side of the road.   Crying.  Defeated.  Beaten down.   She had misjudged as well, but her brain said no more.    I meant to call out to her but it came out as more of a grunt.  Keep going.    I could tell by looking at her that she was physically fine, maybe not so mentally.    She did get back on her bike, and eventually she caught back up to me.    How do you do it?  She asked.   What?    I responded.    How do you keep going when it is so challenging.

     


My friend was training for her first Ironman.   She was at the point in training where you are exhausted, mentally done,  and just ready to race.   She had done a century ride the weekend prior, was supposed to do another one the day of this ride, and then she would be ready for taper.    I could tell at this point that she had given up.   My motivation?   What keeps me moving forward?    My phrase.   Because I CAN.   During the toughest times of my training I focus on those who can't:     My father who has Parkinson's and gets fatigued just walking a few hundred yards.   My friends that have passed away from cancer.   My friends that are fighting cancer or another disease and are too sick to train.   My injured friends.   My friends and family that are too busy with the rest of their lives to be able to do what I do.   I am lucky to be able to do what I do.   And I remind myself of that as much as I can.   No matter how difficult the workout, no matter how slow I am,  I am very fortunate that I can do this training that I love (most days).    We did get to the end of the ride.  It was as tough as I imagined it was going to be.    And I knew my friend was going to stop at 85 miles with the rest of us and call it a day.   And I knew she couldn't.    So when we got back to the cars, I told her we were going back out.   Boy was she surprised.    And resistant.   But, mentally she needed to do this.   So I drug her back out, pretty much kicking and screaming, and we finished 100 miles.   I told her that as defeated as she felt by this ride,  finishing it would be more important for her mentally than any of her good days.   Why?   She asked.   Because an Ironman is not easy.   There will be a point where you doubt yourself, but you have to keep moving forward, your mind will give up before your body.   The tough days that you finish in training are ones that make you stronger on race day.    I am pretty sure she didn't believe me.   But she went on and did her Ironman a few weeks later.   And we talked after, and she told me I was right.

Mental toughness is something you have to practice as well.    My Coach Tim Barrett of  Power of One Coaching  recently wrote an excellent article about mental part of training.   It was published by USAT and can be found here.   I have used several of these techniques myself with training and when preparing for a big race.    As with most things though, I could probably utilize them more.

     Because of my work schedule I do the majority of my training alone.  I think about many different things during my workouts:  food, what I look like swimming, what the person in the next lane looks like,  am I faster than that said person,  how is my form, how is  my breathing,  how my body feels, my next workout, just to name a few.   But I also practice race scenarios in my head.     Some days I envision myself at a race and how I want to feel.   I will do it on the bike, the swim, the run.  I envision myself executing the perfect swim stroke, gait pattern when running or aero position on the bike, .  I practice my finishers pose in my head and  I will daydream about how awesome I will look when I come across that finish line.   Some days I feel so tired I am not sure I can workout.   With fatigue, I really have to evaluate this and I give myself some latitude.   Sleep is as important as training, especially when it comes to recovery.    There are definitely days that I have skipped a morning or evening workout to get more sleep instead.    Lacking in sleep can lead to injury, illness, and mental breakdown.   To me, it is worthwhile to get a few extra hours of sleep if I really need it to ward off long term problems that can arise from lack of sleep.   I would rather train healthy and make it to the start of a race, rather than get injured or ill and lose out on a race (which has happened all too much in the past).   So, I don't beat myself up if I miss a day of training here or there to sleep.   If it starts to become more of the norm, then an intervention might be needed.    There are some days that I really can't tell,  I am tired,  cranky, in general just blah.    On these days it can be especially hard to get motivated.   I have the 10 minute rule for these days.    I give myself 10 minutes to exercise.    Start whatever that activity is and give it 10 minutes.   If I still am not feeling it after 10 minutes, I give myself permission to stop.    Thus far, I have finished every workout I started.  

 I also use music a lot to help me train.  When I run, I look forward to listening to music.   I love it.   I use it as a reward, but I also use phrases in songs to help keep me moving.  On the bike or in the water I sing to myself.  Sometimes out loud, sometimes just in my head.     Each year seems to be a different song, but I normally will pick out a few phrases and sing them or say them when I am at a difficult part of a workout.   "Stronger."  "Lose Yourself."  "Defying Gravity."  "Pride."   Very different songs, but all have given me motivation over the years.     And I won't lie, sometimes I just sing whatever happens to pop into my head.   "Party in the USA", unfortunately,  has been with me on many rides.    During IMAZ 2009 "Just Keep Swimming"  was my theme.   I just changed the words to whatever activity I happened to be doing at the time and made up words as I went along because the more tired I got, the less I could remember the words to the song.    This year "Roar"  by Katy Perry was my song.   I will admit when I first heard it, I thought it was dumb.   But the more I heard it, I started listening to the lyrics and the song hit home.

"You held me down, but I got up

Already brushing off the dust

You hear that voice, You hear that sound

Like thunder gonna shake the ground

You held me down, but I got up

Get ready 'cause I've had enough

I see it all I see it now

I've got the eye of the tiger, the dancer, dancing through the fire

Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar!! "

Perfect for an Ironman.   And my IMLT group embraced it as well.   It became our anthem and anytime it was on the radio that week, we blasted it, and sang with it!!    And I sang it almost nonstop that day when I was out on the bike course. There was one segment on the bike course that I almost gave up.   I had calculated the time in my head and I was sure that I was going to miss the cut off.   But I didn't.   And at that time I had to make the decision to push myself as hard as I could to get to T2,  or slow down and be done with it,  I was close enough to the cutoff time that I knew a few minutes could make or break me.   And I thought of this song, this phrase.   And I knew I couldn't give up.   I wanted to be a champion and I wanted to have people hear me roar!   

    In training for Ironman Lake Tahoe, Coach Tim and I talked often about how I was going to prepare for this race mentally.    We both knew this would not be an easy race for me.   Lake Tahoe sits at 6,200 ft of elevation,  Dublin sits at about 800ft,  my schedule wouldn't allow for me to go out early to adapt or train at altitude.   The bike had 8,000k of climbing and this would be the first IM I would attempt without having ridden at least part of the course or seen in advance to know how to train for it.  In essence, I would be going into this race blindly. Add the fact that I have asthma to the mix and you have the biggest challenge I had ever signed up for in my life.  The physical training we could do, and we had a solid plan in place.   But, I knew I would need something even more to help me to dig deep, to keep going, to motivate me during this race.   Coach Tim kept asking who is your  "Power of One?"    I thought alot about my phrase "Because I Can" and I kept thinking about all the people in my life that had passed away,  especially two guys that had inspired me so much  in the past years with their stories, their battles with cancer.    I was not creative enough to come up with a jersey or anything, but I thought if I had something personal to take with me on that day to remind me of them, it would help.   And somehow I came up possibly wearing one of Jeff's running hats.   I knew that part of the race would be hardest for me.   So I contacted his widow, who fortunately still had some of his things, and she said absolutely, I could wear one of his hats.  And I did just that. I used that hat to honor all of those that can't do the type of thing I do, to honor the memory of both Jeff (who passed away in 2012)  and Cory (who had died earlier in the year), and  also to honor all of the others in my life that had passed away.  And it was a huge help.   Very few knew that I did that.   But I knew.   And I knew both Jeff and Cory were with me that day to help me get through that day.  I needed Cory on the bike to get over those hills and Jeff on the run to keep me moving forward.   And they didn't disappoint.    Although, I probably should give a little credit to Katy Perry as well, for her well spoken words that influenced me in "Roar".      My ability to finish that race had everything to do with the preparation and hard work I put into training...both physical and mental.   

   "Cause I am a Champion and You're  Gonna Hear me Roar!"

Back at it Again

It has been awhile since I have posted and there are no good reasons why.   I got busy.   It got stressful to try to blog.   I didn't have any interest in blogging.   I wasn't sure anyone had any interest in reading my blog.   The reasons could go on and on.     So why blog again now?    I finally feel I have more to say, a bigger audience,   more people to inspire.     I think it is also more therapeutic for me as I struggle with life and training in general.   

The Biggest Loser controversy over the past few days really got me thinking more about things.    For those that don't know, the winner went from 250 lbs to 105 lbs over the course of the show and has caused quite a bit of commentary, including many fearing she now has an eating disorder.   It has really made me think about society and it's "ideals".    And I have realized that "ideals" can be very different depending on who is making up the definition.     In this case, the media, general population of people watching the show have dictated "ideal" weight.   250 is too "big" but  "105"  too tiny.    Yes, I agree 155 lb loss over a matter of months is a huge change and to many people maybe extreme.   But it was a contest and she stepped up her game to win, which she did.    Only time will tell what she chooses to do with this result.    But back to my original theory.    Media portrays 250lbs as too big in America.   To sumo wrestlers,  Strongman competitors and in some cultures, that would actually be very small.   On the flip side,  many people think 105lbs is too small.    If you put her next to many of the top triathlon pros, dancers, or gymnasts  she would actually look big.   It is all in the eye of the beholder.   And unfortunately, I think the eye of the American beholder has us looking at unrealistic expectations as to the perfect body type and have many of us constantly feeling like failures as we cannot achieve these "ideals."

 

 The first year I raced an Ironman event, my racing weight was 128lbs.   For a 5'8 frame,  that is downright skinny.   I didn't aim for that weight,  I didn't limit food, in fact, I remember eating all the time when I was training.   I couldn't get enough food to keep the weight on during that time.  I think that my body was not used to that much exercise and I dropped weight pretty quickly.    I have gained all of it back (and more) and each year I have lost less as I think my body has gotten used to all this exercise so it doesn't seem to affect my metabolism as much.    In the world of long course triathlon fluctuating weight is pretty common.   But that isn't anything you see portrayed in the media.   Wrestling does the same thing,  there are all kinds of extreme diets and practices for these wrestlers to be able to weigh in at a certain weight class.   But there isn't a lot in the media and people don't make a big fuss about it, but I am certain there are a ton of eating disorders and extreme practices at play.    The Biggest Loser is a contest and the people on this show are out to win it.   I am sure some are trying to make some life changes as well, but ultimately it is about the money and winning on national t.v.    The changes seen are extreme but very rarely do the participants keep the weight off.    Just like me through the years, as they go back to reality, they eventually start to regain some (or all of that weight back).    I suspect this year's winner will do the same.    If she doesn't, or if she continues to lose weight, then there may be a problem.   If that time comes, though, let her family and friends worry about it.  

And where does this leave the rest of us?   I think everyone struggles with that inner weight demon.   In the triathlon world it is common practice to try to achieve the perfect  race weight.   The theory being that the lighter you are, the faster you can race.    I will admit that my first Ironman was my fastest.    I have raced a little heavier each year and I seem to be slower each year.    But each race has a different story.   In 2010 I did IMKY it was a harder course and the weather was 20 degrees hotter than it had been at IMAZ.      In 2011 I went back to IMAZ hoping for redemption.    My swim was only 2 minutes different, my bike and transitions were my fastest to date, but my run fell apart.   Hard to say why, but I don't believe my weight played a factor.   Overcoming a stress fracture that left me without running for the better part of 4 months prior to the race probably played the biggest factor,  race day nutrition, another.    And 2013 was IMLT...what can I say about it but that it was an Epic race from start to finish.   Did my weight make or break me?   Absolutely not.   The 27 degree air temps at the start,  8,000k of climbing, 6,200ft elevation made this one of the most challenging races to date.   I was happy to finish it and knew going into the race that my time would not be a fast one. 

   So now we come to 2014.    I will be racing Ironman Mont Tremblant this year.    It will be another challenging bike and run  course, and while I am not ready to share my goals yet, I do have a pretty big goal in mind for this one, although I am not expecting or aiming for a time PR.       I have been worried about the weight gain I have had in the off season.    As I write this, I am at my heaviest weight ever.    To many I probably still look very thin.    But my pants aren't fitting well,  I don't like the way my belly and butt look in the mirror and for the first time ever, my pant legs are fitting tight around my thighs.   However, I have been focusing on more strength training this year.    And I can now do 85# squats with bar and 100# deadlifts.  I was actually giggling as I did this earlier this week.    A low number for most, but considering I felt just lifting the bar a few months ago was a big challenge, I am thrilled with these numbers!   And the same thing is happening for my core workouts and arms.    So I am pretty sure at least part of this weight gain is actually muscular.   But for a person that has raced triathlon for so long, it is hard to separate the muscular weight gain from the fat and to me, I just look big right now.   My hope is that in the next phase of training that this improvement in strength will carryover with improved endurance/strength on the bike and run.


    Is there an ideal weight for me to race?  Probably.   Will I achieve it?   Probably not.    I enjoy eating all kinds of foods, some healthy, some not.   I like going out to eat socially with friends after a long run, a long bike, or just to meet up and have fun.    Most of these meals are also likely adding to my weight gain.   I am sure if I stopped eating out, stopped drinking alcohol and went to a strict whole food diet, I could lose the weight and be at a better "racing weight."    But at what end?   I know that because of my genetics, asthma history, etc.  I will never be a competitive racer.    I am sure that I could have better times, but it will still put me at the mid or bottom of my age group.   I race because I enjoy the training.   I race because I enjoy the race itself.    Food of all type makes me happy.   As I struggle with negative body image thoughts, I have to be realistic about things too.     

So as I get depressed about how I (feel) look, I try to also remember everything I can do with this body and focus on the positive.     I am not sure I will ever be happy with how my body looks...at 40 years of age, I can never remember being happy with any phase of how my body has  looked.   But,  I can be happy about everything my body can do.    And right now,  I am pretty pleased with the fact that I can say I am a 4 time Ironman.    My body, no matter how much it has weighed, has gotten me the nickname IronAnn, a name I am incredibly proud to wear. 

A Ride Down Memory Lane

While not my exact bike growing up, I recall having something similar to this.  

Sometimes, quit literally, taking a ride down memory lane is helpful to remind us of how far we have come.   

 

This past week I had to change from my normal riding routes and choose a different one.   Thursday, due to a schedule change late in the week, I had to be at Riverside most of the day for work and work related meetings.   I had a bike ride on my schedule and not alot of time to do it unless I wanted to get up at 4am and ride the trainer, which I didn't.   So I opted to bring my bike with me and ride the  Olentangy Trail, as I wouldn't have time to really do much else.   I normally avoid the Trail on my bike because it is busy, it is twisty, and I have to be more aware of all the other people on the trail, resulting in a slower ride.      I also hate looking like a Lance wannabe and being that cyclist that should be on the road instead.    So late in the afternoon, between work meetings,  I headed out on the trail for a 1.5 hour ride.    I started South first and as I got to certain sections I started remembering back to when, as an adult, I purchased my first bike, which also eventually led to my first venture into the world of duathlon and multisport.  

Many people have asked me how long I have been doing triathlons and how I got started.   To be honest, I am not really sure exactly when I did my first triathlon, but I very distinctly remember my first duathlon.    Up to that point in my life I had mostly been a soccer player.   I played in gradeschool, highschool, intramurals in college, and then rec league after college.   In fact for the first 7-8 years after college I kept busy playing soccer, flag football, and volleyball almost every night of the week.    I actually hated running in general and played these sports (instead)  to keep fit.    In fact I used to hate running so much, I actually quit playing soccer my senior year of highschool because I didn't want to do the conditioning.   Fast forward to 2001.    I met a boy and fell in love.   At least for a short while.   And while that relationship didn't last, his passion for triathlon and the bike, especially the bike, has stuck with me.   You see this guy was a cyclist, he took amazing trips out to Colorado and Montana every year and rode the moutains for a week at a time.   He also had just started getting into triathlon.   So when I met him, he spent alot of time running and biking.    Both of these things honestly bored me to tears at first.    But, as I spent more time with him, I also realized that I probably needed to try these things in order to spend more time with him and have something in common.    So I tackled running first (it was cheaper). I had done the Komen 5k before, but walked part of it.   This time, I wanted to run a whole 5k.    And he helped me to train for my "first" 5k.    It was miserable.    The race was on a weekend in early April.    So of course, it was about 40 degrees and raining.    And I ran in cotton sweat pants, cotton long sleeve shirt, and some sort of pullover GAP jacket.    I remember being completely out of breath and wondering when the hell this race was going to get over.   And this boy stayed with me, and told me, in another few miles.   A few miles?   Hadn't we come that far already?   No.   Only 1 mile.   I was freezing, out of breath, and miserable, but I kept running.   And eventually finished.    And completely underwhelmed, decided maybe a bike would be better...

That summer he introduced me to the Tour de France and Lance Armstrong.    I thought it was boring.   But, this was before DVR and he was glued to the tv.  Everyday.   So to spend time with him.   I too was glued to the t.v.    And by the end of the race I loved Lance Armstrong and the battle to the finish.   And maybe, just maybe, the bike was a little cool too.    So the boy convinced me to go buy a bike.   We went to the Bikesource in Clintonville.   And I bought a comfort/hybrid bike.   And I couldn't believe how much money I was spending on this thing.  I am pretty sure it cost somewhere in the ballpark of $250-$300!!  

Although not my exact bike, my first adult bike was pretty similar to this.  

 



So after that we started going out on the Olentangy Trail as he taught me how to ride again and learn some of the concepts of gearing.    I still remember the first time I rode 10 miles!   I felt like I had come so far and it was so hard for me, but such a sense of accomplishment!    It was that time that I remembered Thursday on my ride.   And it really did make me realize how far I have come since that time.   I rode around 25 miles on Thursday on those same trails and it probably took me only a little longer to do that than the 10 miles I rode so many years ago!   And some of the little hills that are on the trail now...I recall thinking the 161 bridge felt like a mountain!    Not so much these days.      

So that summer was also when this boy started talking about duathlons and triathlons.   And although he didn't do one that year, he had picked out a few that he wanted to train for in the following year.   Shortly after this we broke up.   But he had planted the seed and for some reason the idea of doing a duathlon really intrigued me.    I had done a 5 k and I could bike 10 miles.   So I looked for a race that would combine the 2 of these distances.    And I found one!   

The Olentangy Duathlon was in May of 2004.   This gave me time to get out and train some in the spring before the race.   It was a 2 mile run, a 11.5 mile bike, and a 2 mile run out of the Olentangy Caverns.    That morning I woke up and it was in the low 50s, it was raining, and there were 15-20 mph winds.    My mom, dad, and my two best friends went with me to the race.    I remember walking up to the transition area to drop off my bike and my dad asking me if I was going to lock up my bike.   Why?   I remember asking him.   Well, "aren't you worried someone is going to steal it?"    I still laugh thinking about that.   No,  I told him, and pointed to another bike, that one is way better than mine and I am pretty sure someone would steal that one first!    Pretty sure it was also the winner.     The run was pretty good, out and back from the caverns, mostly uphill on the way out, but then you turn around and run down the hill, so that was fun.    The bike was difficult for me.   Not at first because I had a tailwind and it was somewhat downhill towards 315.   Then we were on 315, which is fun on your bike.   Then we turned into a neighborhood that went uphill.   And yes, I was riding my $250 comfort bike.   And getting mad.   EVERYONE was passing me.   And they hardly looked like they had to put forth any effort.   The fat guys, the old guys, and it was pissing me off.     We finally made it out of the neighborhood.   And as we were turning out of the neighborhood, I took my water bottle out and was taking a drink out of it when I hit the headwind.    I almost got knocked off my bike.    And rather than put my waterbottle back in its cage, I threw it into the ditch on the side of the road.   And I had a deathgrip on those bike handles the rest of the ride.    You see, riding on the trail, most of the winds are blocked and you are somewhat protected.    I had never ridden in something like this before.   And it was really hard.   And I am pretty sure my heartrate was near its max effort.   And I remember having a long talk with God along this stretch of the road.    Actually I think I was pleading with God..."God I promise, if I get through this race, I will make a better effort to go to church..."  or something along those lines.    And I eventually got through the bike and back to transition in one piece.    The second run was harder and I was much slower.    But I made it.   And my drenched family and friends were there at the finish to cheer me on as I crossed that finish line.   And I was so proud of myself that day.   I had never done anything that hard in my life and I was absolutely elated that I had been able to train and do that race that day.    And I knew eventually, I would do another one someday.   

Over the next year I met another boy.  And fell in love.   And he was a soccer player, long distance runner, and triathlete.    It was through him that my biking skills were able to improve more and I was able to get a better bike.   One of his training partner's wife was in the process of getting a new road bike so I inherited one from her.    It was a little too small for me, but it allowed me to really feel the difference a road bike made and decide if cycling and multisport was truely something I wanted to continue to do.    What a difference the road bike made for me!   I could really feel how much easier it was to ride and with much less effort.   And I still had regular old pedals on there...too scared to try clip in shoes.    So the next year I did the Olentangy Duathlon again.   I don't have alot of memories from that one, but I remember it being much easier.  

 In 2005 I  watched my first Ironman.   My boyfriend at the time, his brother, and one of their friends all did Ironman Arizona.   I went out and spectated the whole day.   And I was completely fascinated and in awe of all of the athletes that day.   I saw people of all shapes and sizes out there.   I watched an 80 year old man cross the finishline 10 minutes before an 18 yo kid.   I saw a man that looked to be at least 300 lbs finish that race.    And everyone we cheered for finished as well.    I definately fell more in love with this boy after that race, completely dumbfounded by what he did that day.    That is also when my love of triathlon really started.  I can still hear Mike Riley's voice, very clearly announcing "You are an Ironman" as all the racers crossed the finishline.    After we returned home to Columbus I remember someone asking me if I wanted to do the Ironman race now?   "I would never do that!"  I answered.   "That is crazy!"   Famous last words.  

I really didn't have confidence that I could do something like an Ironman (or even a simple triathlon at that point)  but I did start to think about what I was currently doing, and I felt I could do more.   So with the help of some friends, I signed up and did my first half marathon that year.   And that internal sense of accomplishment and pride in what I could do kept growing.    And I kept running and did another half marathon that spring.     And each race I did and all of the training kept improving my self confidence.    In the fall of 2006 my training buddies decided they didn't want to train anymore.   And I was really lonely and realized how hard it was to train without them.    And that is when I found MIT and started training with them.    And it truely did change my life and that is when I actually started to truely enjoy running.    And with the help of my MIT friends, I did my first marathon in 2007.   Talk about a sense of accomplishment!   And my self confidence grew by leaps and bounds.   I wasn't very fast, but I could run a marathon!!!   

  I also upgraded my bike that year.    I  finally decided that the hand me down wouldn't do it anymore.   I needed something faster and more my size if I was going to ride longer than 25 miles...

My trusty road bike.   Love this thing.   Aluminum frame, carbon parts.   Eventually I added arrow bars as well.  

 



By 2008 I had several half marathons and triathlons under my belt by the end of the year.   I also had watched a loved one pass away from cancer, a close friend was diagnosed with lymphoma, and my dad's Parkinsons disease seemed to be progressing more.   In Novemeber of that year, I found myself back in Arizona.   Spectating for another friend at the Ironman.   And that year I saw an amputee doing the race.    And as I sat there watching the race and thinking about the people there doing the race and thinking about my friends and family who couldn't do these things for various reasons, a thought occured to me.   What was stopping me from doing this?   I had two good legs.   I had done a marathon.  I had done several triathlons.   It was fear that was stopping me.    And a crazy idea popped into my head.   I could do this.   Or at least I needed to try.   And the next morning before I could change my mind, I signed up for the race.   "Holy shit!"  was the first thing that I remember thinking when I signed up.   What was I thinking?    But it was good shit.   Because I trained hard.   And I did that race.   And in 2009, in Arizona, I heard "Ann Kurtenbach, you are an Ironman" announced by Mike Riley!!  

So, as I rode my bike around the Olentangy Trail this past week, I started remembering all these things.   And I cannot believe how far I have come from that girl that hated running along those trails all those years ago, as she practiced soccer for the Watterson Eagles.   To the girl that was elated with the 10 miles on the bike.    To the girl who is now training for her 3rd Ironman.    I have told people before, but I truely believe that if I have been able to accomplish all these things, I think anyone can.   You just have to have the confidence to trust in yourself.   And believe in yourself.   And be willing to push through some discomfort.   And you will get there.   

My newest bike purchase this year!   Love my Shiv!